Well, I know I am not a bad mom.. there are days I have questioned that, but, I know I can take my girls anywhere and know will behave. They get good grades, don't get into real trouble and are loving children.. yet there are days, when you just throw your hands up and think.. that was it.. that was the moment that will send my kids into therapy for years to come!
I know every mom has those moments and Im not unique to these thoughts.. but in those moments, you just know you've failed.
Yesterday.... I had one of those moments!
Alexandra had a dentist apt that she has been freting over for a week. Last summer Makenzie had 4 teeth pulled, so I think she thought she was in for it too. I have been trying to get her to understand it was just a routine thing and not to worry. So, we went to her apt at 2 pm.. when we got there 30 min early.. I thought we were in great shape.. BUT from the waiting room we could a little kid screaming.. Alexandra was getting nervous, but she was okay still. Turns out it was a 3 yr old with 4 cavities (thats a whole nother frustration with me) anyhoo they had nearly ALL the techs in there "helping" the dr.. They finally got her back there and xrayd and cleaned her teeth. took all of 10 min. THEN we waited, and waited and waited... I looked down at my watch and to my horror realized we had in fact been there for an hr and a half! OMG! I called Adam to find out where he was (over an hr away)and me over 30 min away... and Makenzie...getting home in 15 min!
I told the dental tech I had to go and they kept piddleing around and I finally said, " I HAVE AN 8 YR OLD AT HOME NOW ALONE AND IM 30 MIN AWAY I HAVE TO GO!!!"
They finally let me leave! We RAN to the car and drove home as fast as I could with out getting a ticket and pulled into the drivway.. Makenzie was sitting on the porch (with our 18 yr old nieghbor girl) she looked up, seen me and burt into tears... It was one of those moments where I got out of my car, knelt down next to her and just started saying I am soooooo sorry!!!!!
It just broke my heart! She said, there were no cars, but I hoped daddys car was in the garage, I knocked and rang the doorbell and no one was here.. I didnt know where you were and I thought you forgot me...
it was terrible, I felt like such a bad mother! There wasnt really anything I could do to make her understand how bad I felt.. But, I told her we would get her a house key so she could awalys get in the house! ugh..
The neighbor girl told her she did a responsible thing by going to the neighbors house where some one was home, but Makenzie didnt care, she was hurt that I forgot her (even though I didnt). BUT Alexandra did not have any cavities!! YAY for me
Makenzie of course is just fine.. but Im sure Ill flub up more stuff before she turns 24 and begins therapy lol.
On a side note, there is a bird.. who gets rather vocal when we leave the house.. shes been living in a bush in the front by the door, and gets quite upset at us when we leave the house, flying on top of the house and freaking out! This bush is about chest high to me, but there is indeed a nest in the bush, we check it out (with out touchig it) everytime we leave the house, I just knew she wouldnt put eggs in there, since we pass by there so often, but the girls thought it was so neat that we could see a real birds nest. SO after the "ordeal" yesterday, Jacqueline came running over yelling, " WE HAVE EGGS!!!!" sure enought the bird layed two blue speckled eggs in the nest.. the girls think its great, and I think it will be cool to watch once the babies are born... but I feer that now that theyre ARE eggs, the mother is going to be even more angry at us when we leave the house.. so I am hoping we dont get attacked by mamma bird!
I have some pictures I have taken, Ill get them up soon
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